I Lost My Brother On My Lap
It happened in a moment. And it happened quickly. But I remember all of it in grave detail.
My brother, Rahul Bhardwaj was a gem of a person. He took care of us after the death of our father. He stepped up at the age of 17 and sacrificed everything so that both his small brothers and mom can get the best.
He became the strength for our mother, pillar for our education and provider of food and life. It’s amazing how much sacrifice he did. I am not that great. He put us before himself. In every situation. And now that he is no more, it feels bad that he didn’t get to enjoy more of life.
Fruits, Fear & Fun
The most sudden thing happened after the death of my brother — we got more fruits than we ever had.
My mom was devastated — perhaps the most among the family. She cried a lot, saw his pictures a lot and then kept thinking a lot. And then she ordered my small brother to get fruits.
Typically, fruits are a luxury in our home. Once the fruits were eaten, she ordered more fruits and then some more.
She saw the death of her elder son in his early 30s. And now, she can’t risk anything. The best thing that is sought after is fruits for health. And now, she wanted to do everything in her capacity to take care of her 2 sons. Naturally, she kept ordering fruits so we can keep munching them. Funny, how the death of a person can ignite many new perspectives to live life.
The Wait, Helplessness & Worst Day
My brother got me chips, I love them. It was a regular Sunday afternoon. He gave me the chips and went to the bathroom. He was panting. I got scared. My mom was chatting one floor above with a friend of hers. I went and called her.
By this time, my brother was lying on a bed. He asked me to massage his hands. And my mother worried got dressed to take him to the hospital. My small brother wasn’t home. The neighbour whom we relied upon to help in such a situation was at work. So, my mom went downstairs to call for help just in case.
I was alone with my brother. And suddenly, he was out of breath. My heart started pounding. I knew it was bad. I started calling my mother and giving breath to my brother. Now, everyone was surrounding us. I called for an ambulance. It would take a long time for an ambulance to come. A nurse in our building checked his pulse — it wasn’t there. But we were hoping for a miracle. We took him in a rickshaw to the hospital. They said — he is dead.
The Aftermath
The loss of my brother is something that has left a scar in us. And it will remain.
My hope is that my mom starts to remember him and recite all good memories with a smile instead of tears.
We laugh more, understand death and know-how all of life can slip through the hands. We cherish more, live more and have become conscious of how short life can be.
My mom gets scared if I or my small brother gets sick now. It’s a lot for my mom to process and continue a normal life. Rest in peace, brother. Love you.
Say your sorry, mend things and enjoy till it lasts — life is short, don’t take too long. Let’s live and enjoy the ride.
